Why I Wish All My Patients Were Transgender

You’ve probably heard of an “orphan” disease.  This is a condition that is sufficiently rare (officially defined by the FDA as affecting less than 200,000 people nationwide) to not merit much time, effort, or money thrown at it.  As a result, afflicted patients are often left fending for themselves – doing their own medical research, navigating a byzantine health care system, and getting generally demoralized in the process.  Whether you’re a medical professional or not, I’d like you to take a moment to imagine your body falling apart.  You’re scared and you need help.  But none of the doctors you see really know what to do for you.  Instead, you’re met with a series of shoulder shrugs and “I’m sorry’s.”

Visiting doctors who don’t know how to handle you is bad enough when it happens to someone in 0.06% of the population.  Imagine, then, how significant the problem is for transgender patients, who are now estimated to make up 0.6% of the U.S. population.  Now we’re talking about one order of magnitude more people!  Although I believe that clinicians’ awareness is improving, the care of transgender patients in our medical system can make these patients feel like they have an orphan disease.

It Starts with Terminology

As recently as just a few years ago, any patient coming to see me for cross-hormone therapy would carry a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder (italics are mine).  As part of internationally accepted criteria for beginning hormonal therapy, a patient with GID should have a “letter of readiness” from a licensed mental health professional (the “informed consent” model, in which a letter is not necessary, is outside the scope of this post).  I’ve shared many transgender patients with a local therapist who is a transgender woman (born male, now female), so her thoughts always carry a lot of weight with me.  Over the years, my colleague’s letters to me have included some variation of the following: “Although I do not believe that ‘Gender Identity Disorder’ is truly a disorder, this patient does meet the criteria for diagnosis.”  What she’s saying reflects the position of many in the transgender community, in that classifying this condition as a disorder can be stigmatizing and, frankly, inaccurate.

With the release of the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders- Version 5), the terminology problem was recognized and “GID” was changed to “gender dysphoria.”  To cultivate insight into why a term like GID can be so powerful – and so hurtful – the WPATH Standards of Care says it best:

Some people experience gender dysphoria at such a level that the distress meets criteria for a formal diagnosis that might be classified as a mental disorder…Existing classification systems…attempt to classify clusters of symptoms and conditions, not the individuals themselves. A disorder is a description of something with which a person might
struggle, not a description of the person or the person’s identity.


Thus, transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals are not inherently disordered. Rather, the distress of gender dysphoria, when present, is the concern that might be
diagnosable and for which various treatment options are available.

Pronouns cause angst

In our electronic medical record, we have the ability to list a patient’s preferred name.  If Daniel Smith (not a real name) – who now goes by Gloria – comes to see me, my reception and clinical staff can look at the EMR and call her by the appropriate name.  But the gender marker on the chart will still say “male,” until such time as Gloria officially changes her name/gender on all government documents and with her insurance company.  You haven’t been frustrated until you’ve argued with an insurance company that denied payment because the patient’s gender marker on the chart doesn’t match what the company has on file.  Never mind that the “transgender” diagnosis is all over the documentation.

In the exam room, it’s tough to see a transgender man wince every time his well-meaning but naive family member refers to him as “her” during our conversation.  It’s hard to listen to a transgender woman lament that her coworkers gossip about “that dude.”  It’s sometimes difficult, even for me, to keep the pronouns 100% consistent throughout my progress note, especially when a sentence looks something like this: “A few months ago, he had two episodes of spotting, but now his periods have stopped entirely on the higher dose of testosterone.”  I find it especially challenging when I have a patient who identifies as “non-binary” and prefers use of “they” as opposed to he/she – that really hurts the part of my brain that insists on proper grammar.

Being misgendered

Most of us take it for granted that, as we walk down the street, we’re subconsciously registered by others as “that guy” or “that lady.”  We all have our insecurities, of course.  So maybe we wonder if people are staring at our giant nose or our generous midsection.  But this pales in comparison to being served in a restaurant by a waiter who keeps referring to you as sir when you are a transgender woman.  How the heck are you supposed to enjoy your meal now, as your core identity is questioned every time the server comes to check on you?

Without wading too far into what has become a politicized debate, just think about how a transgender person feels when they simply need to empty their bladder in a public place.  How stressful must it be to have an internal debate about which restroom to enter, wondering whether some other bathroom-goer is going to loudly out you, forcing you out of the restroom with a full bladder and a heavy dose of shame?

While we’re at it – maybe I will wade into the debate – do you honestly think transgender people are trying to sneak a peek at your naked bum in the restroom?  Please.  They’re too focused on keeping their head down and trying to force the urine out as fast as it will flow.  Next time you stop at a rest area on a lonely stretch of Route 80 in western New Jersey, you should be more worried about the cisgender (identifies with the gender with which they were born) perv in the trench coat at the urinal next to you, craning his neck to check out your piece.

Other people think it’s a choice

I saw an older woman recently for something totally unrelated to gender care.  She had seen on my practice’s website that I treat transgender patients and asked me, point-blank, if I just treat the hormonal issue, or if I also “agree with the lifestyle.”  I have to admit that stopped me cold for a beat.  What I wanted to say was, “I completely reject the premise of your question.  This is not a lifestyle, nor is it a choice.  Rather, this is about the fundamental essence of who they know they should become, as a person.”  But, given the tone of her question (heavy on judgment, light on innocent curiosity) and in the interest of not forcing a confrontation that might lower my Press Ganey score (a standardized measure of patient satisfaction that is giving most clinicians severe heartburn), I simply answered “both,” and moved on.  Before you jump all over me, yes, I’m ashamed that I chickened out of this conversation.  But at the time, she didn’t strike me as someone who was interested in having a nuanced back-and-forth.

Insurance will cover hormone therapy – oh wait – no it won’t

Over the last five years or so, insurance companies have mostly been better about coverage of cross-hormone therapy.  But within the last six months, I have seen a higher rate of denials coming through, even for patients who had previously been stable on their hormonal regimen.  Frustrating, right?  Imagine you have debilitating pain from rheumatoid arthritis and your doctor finally got insurance approval for an expensive, disease-modifying drug.  You start the drug and your pain has been cut in half, so you’re now active in ways you hadn’t been for years.  Then your insurance company does an about-face and says it won’t pay anymore.  Do you just go back to a life with twice the pain?

The most ridiculous denial of coverage I received recently was for the syringes and needles used by one of my FTM (female-to-male) patients for self-injecting testosterone.  The insurance company would cover the testosterone, but they didn’t want to pay for the simple and inexpensive device used to actually get the T into the body.  Seriously?  My response to the insurance company was snarky, which should surprise exactly no-one:

“I’m writing in support of coverage of syringes and needles for my patient, who needs them to inject the testosterone for which your company has agreed to pay.  Injectable testosterone is FDA-approved for intramuscular injection only, and not approved for oral, transdermal, rectal, or vaginal use/application.  Fortunately, modern medical science has innovated a miraculous device known as a syringe which, when attached to a needle, can be utilized to inject injectable testosterone into the body.  Cover the syringes and needles and stop wasting my time.”

Why I love transgender patients

I’ve mentioned just a few of the challenges transgender patients face, which sometimes also translate into challenges for me.  So why take on the extra hassle?  Don’t I have enough agitation on a daily basis?  One reason why I enjoy caring for these folks is that they have something that I can actually cure.  Think about it.  In Endocrinology, I spend my days managing diseases.  I manage diabetes.  I manage hypothyroidism.  I manage PCOS, osteoporosis, low testosterone, and thyroid nodules.  Even thyroid cancer – which is usually a fairly non-aggressive and treatable condition – needs to be monitored lifelong, because it could recur many years down the road.

But gender dysphoria can be cured (or at least greatly ameliorated) by initiation of hormone therapy.  I cannot even count how many times I’ve seen an anxious, depressed, stressed-out man come back a few months after starting estradiol as a radiant, confident, transitioning woman.  Or a slightly-built woman come back a few months after starting testosterone, carrying herself with more swagger, talking in a deeper voice, and flexing her guns.

I also find that I learn deeply personal things about my transgender patients, usually to a greater extent than with my other patients.  I suppose it’s because the lead-up to the first visit with me comes with all kinds of tangled emotions, and that lead-up period can be several decades long.  For example, I saw a cis male who knew from a very young age that her gender didn’t feel quite right.  But she grew up over 60 years ago in a small town, in a part of the country where people who were “different” had to worry about lynching.  So she did what most people with gender dysphoria did back then: stuffed it way down, married someone of the opposite gender, had kids, and went on with life.  60+ years later, she wound up in my office, sharing her life story.

I suppose that much of my commitment to transgender patients stems from my own struggles as a kid, which cultivated a tendency to root for the underdog.  While my issues weren’t in the same league as kids with gender dysphoria, I was picked on for years.  I didn’t develop the self-confidence to not care until senior year of high school, so yeah, I was an insecure mess for much of my formative years.

While I do take pride in the nuance I bring to management of other aspects of Endocrinology, helping transgender people become who they were meant to be is one of the most rewarding things I do on a daily basis.  And because there are so few doctors who know how to handle their issues, they tend to be among my most grateful patients.  I don’t care what the Press Ganey score shows – my transgender patients leave the room happy, which makes my day that much better.  Cheers to all of them.


Do you see transgender patients in your practice?  What struggles do you face in taking care of them?  Do you enjoy seeing this patient population?  Are you transgender?  How has your medical care been?  Comment below!

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40 Replies to “Why I Wish All My Patients Were Transgender”

  1. “ I find it especially challenging when I have a patient who identifies as “non-binary” and prefers use of “they” as opposed to he/she – that really hurts the part of my brain that insists on proper grammar.”

    Hallelujah! I have had this argument, word for word (!) numerous times. Sadly, the grammar-challenged don’t seem to get it.

    I’m all for adding new, gender-neutral pronouns to the language and I think this could be done based on the success of Ms. (which was considered silly an impossible to incorporate at the time), but to simply distort the grammar in this way really gets my knickers in a twist. “They” is MORE THAN ONE PERSON–Ack!

    1. I’ve had one or two patients prefer the invented gender-neutral pronoun “ze.” Unfortunately, most people have no idea what you’re talking about if you use it, so it hasn’t caught on yet.

      1. I still find neopronouns difficult to grasp in conversation, admittedly. They don’t appear to flow. But then again, neither do now-obsolete pronouns from Old English, and I have definitely come to accept them much more with studying linguistics.

    2. >Hallelujah! I have had this argument, word for word (!) numerous times. Sadly, the grammar-challenged don’t seem to get it

      What do they not get? That the singular they has been used for centuries and and really has only been criticized in the last few by inane grammar fascist? This is just a great example of how someone can be educated and still be a idiot.

    3. As a linguist, I can assure you that the singular ‘they’ is as grammatically correct as the plural ‘they’. Even then, grammatical change is a simple part of English language history, with a good example being the significant change in word order from Old English and Middle English to Early Modern and Present Day English.

      I’m not having a go at you and it is not uncommon for people to be unaware of this but I hope you can recognise this soon as arguments about pronouns can just add unnecessary stress to the already-stressful issue of being trans. It can feel very invalidating and we already have to deal with enough invalidation as it is. I’m happy to provide some links to interesting resources on this, if anyone would like to read more about the singular ‘they’ from an academic linguistics perspective!

  2. Oh dear, oh dear! …silly AND (not an) impossible… I must heed my own admonition to proofread!

  3. Insisting on plural meaning for “they” isn’t proper grammar. Singular “they” in English dates back to 14th century.

    See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

    In this day and age, when its singular use is becoming increasingly commonplace, declaring that singular “they” is improper grammar is merely a failure to acknowledge the possibility that someone else (in this case your patients) might know something about language that you don’t.

    What is troubling about declarations that singular “they” is improper grammar is that you are, implicitly, appointing yourself an authority on what improper grammar *is*. As I am sure will not surprise you, that type of denying-existing-by-denying-language has been a hallmark of every struggle for equality in American history.

    When you were in medical school, you were asked to learn new meanings for words you had already encountered. “Signs”, “tenderness”, and even “death” mean something different in medicine than elsewhere. Whether you like it or not, “they” has always had a meaning other than the one familiar to you, and you can adapt to this new knowledge just as you did with many other words.

  4. OK, Ben and Jane. Whether “they” was used in a singular sense 700+ years ago or not, in today’s world, I think we can all agree that “they” most commonly is used to refer to multiple people. My point was only that “they” sounds a bit off to my ears when I use it to refer to one person. I have no problem with a transgender person preferring the pronoun “they,” as should be obvious from the tone of my post.

    1. but it’s not obvious at all, you say “THEY IS MORE THAN ONE PERSON” but how many times in the past week have you called someone “they” when you didn’t know gender?

      “Ugh, someone was driving really dangerously earlier! They cut me off in traffic!”
      “My friend at work told me a really funny story today.” “Oh yeah? What did they say?”
      “I don’t feel I really know someone until I’ve seen them naked. ” etc. etc.

      It’s not that people use “they” to describe multiple people “most commonly,” it’s that you don’t like having to use “they” when you have an idea about someone’s gender in your head. Also, believing that something sounds “off to your ears” should prevail in importance to “someone’s identity being validated and recognized” is the very definition of cisgender privilege.

      1. I agree with your examples of when “they” is commonly used. However, that’s not what I’m talking about. Imagine I am speaking to a group of ten people, and I point to someone else standing alone in the opposite corner of the room and ask, “See them over there? They look lonely.” All ten of those people are likely to look at me a little funny, as it’s obvious there is only one person standing there.

        To make any other argument runs the risk of making one appear deliberately obtuse, which I assume you are not. Do I suffer from cisgender privilege? I don’t know. Maybe. I would simply caution you to remember a quote I like and will paraphrase here – “Never ascribe to malice what can be attributed to ignorance.” Perhaps being cisgender makes me a little ignorant of transgender issues, sure. But the tone of my post is clearly positive regarding my passion for transgender medicine.

        1. Three things: first, yes, your tone is positive, but there’s still (and always will be) room for improvement. I could have done a better job of acknowledging the value of your overall direction.

          Second, keep in mind that here you are not only speaking for yourself, but also inviting other people to participate. That participation can amplify your voice, which also means that it will magnify your imperfections. This is how we go from you saying “proper grammar”, which is a pretty neutral way to state something I disagree with, to one of your commenters describing trans/non-binary people & allies as “grammatically challenged”, reaching ad-hominem levels of hostility in one step.

          Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t do any of what you are doing, just that feedback you receive for making missteps in public is necessarily going to be different from what you might get for making the same misstep in private.

          And finally, I don’t think anyone here was ascribing anything you did to malice. That certainly wasn’t my intent; sorry if I did not convey that well.

          1. Hi Ben. You make a lot of good points. May I quote you on my podcast The Gender Rebels (genderrebels.com)? We’ll be doing a “Grammar of ‘Them’” episode soon and you nailed it.

        2. “Talking to a group of people”, they ? Them ?, umm no, you would say, ” that person there”.
          If a person has requested the use of they/them as pronouns, then ignoring that request for the sake of ‘grammatical correctness’, denies their validity and creates a trust issue. Insisting that the use of ‘they’ is confusing and frustrating is really, and let’s be honest here, a crutch to justify intellectual laziness ( for lack of a better word ).
          Speaking for myself, I greatly appreciate what you and others in your field have done and do for the trans and gender nonconforming community. With just a tiny bit more mental self disciplining , that particular nuance will no longer trouble you . (Smile emoticon)

  5. This is such a wonderful piece. As a trans woman it makes me happy to see that there are medical professionals out there that have such heart for our needs, and it is especially lovely to hear that helping us is a positive experience for a doctor as well. It is true, transition has incredibly high satisfaction rates and can breathe new life into a person!

  6. thanks for this! as a transgender patient, finding a good doctor is very, very difficult… especially early in transition, when one is very confused and quite vulnerable.

    the name and pronoun thing is *important*, as you have stated. while i’m not sure i’m enough of a writer to communicate *how* important this is, allow me to try:

    you’ve been beaten and mugged and have had your house set on fire. when the police arrive for a statement, they keep prodding your prone, bruised form with their toe, accusing you of arson and calling you ”dork” after every question. after the police are done with you, the paramedics take a look at you and scold you for getting beat up, insisting that if you want help, you need to crawl into the ambulance your own damn self, and they’re not sure if you’re insurance will cover you. they also, inexplicably, keep referring to you as ”it”, ”thing”, or ”the headcase”.

    while the made up anecdote above may *seem* extreme to someone who hasn’t had to fight for something as basic as being recognized as a human being, it’s not far off base.

    coming out and early transition is a trying time. elation, fear, frustration, hormones, and a sense of change so sever that it almost feels like the end of the world and that nothing will ever be the same again…and you’re both happy and sad about it at the same time. chances are you’ve lost (and been castigated by) ”friends” and ”family” because of this. because of this, you might have been divorced, broken up with, disowned, and kicked out of your house.

    it’s *change* on all levels, physical, mental, social, spiritual, medical….and with everything in flux, it’s very, *very* nice to have someone who’s both able to help you *and* willing to use your name.

    thanks for the post!

  7. Thank you, thank you, thank you. As a 61 year old trans woman who is only now seriously contemplating HRT (after so many decades of denial, shame, fear) your writing gives me hope. I’d like to be one of those who feels great and confident in her body and soul.

    1. Emma, I’m so glad you’ve found some hope here. I wish you all the happiness in the world; please keep me posted on your journey.

      1. Doctor HD, I have forwarded the link to your blog post to so many, including my doctor. Your work and dedication, both here and in the office (I’m confident), are greatly appreciated.

        Thanks to you and many others I started MTF HRT last September. Part of my goals was to conduct an experiment. By starting at a low dose I wanted to see if my body and psyche felt better; if not, I wondered if maybe I was not really transgender. Well it felt right, and my doctor and I have steadily increased by estradiol and stabilized spironolactone to achieve our blood target levels.

        I’m living full time as a transitioned trans woman having legally changed my name and gender. I never knew that life could be this fun and fulfilling!

  8. Thank you the article. I’ve been with my Endo now for 19 months. I am his first ‘transition’ patient so it has basically been a learning experience for both. Other than WPATH as a source of reference do you have or know of new or improved reference points ?
    Speaking from this side of the examination table, I can assure you, we ‘are’ appreciative of every minute ounce of support and dedication you put forth ! You’re fighting the good fight here !

  9. I have been doing transgender care for about 7 years. At this point, all of my patients are transgender. It is deeply fulfilling. I don’t see any problem with writing “His periods were still occurring monthly until his testosterone dose increased”. People have all types of bodies.

  10. I enjoy looking after my transgender patient in family practice. More polite and grateful bunch I have never met. Very privileged to be a part of their story.

  11. I love how you are willing to prescribe a women unsafe doses of testosterone to transition, yet I am refused testosterone treatment to counteract the side effects of my SSRI that I’ve had to take for the last 10 years that has chemically castrated me. As a 27 year old male, struggling with libido/depression/anxiety etc, I’ve officially lost all faith in endocrines.

    1. I’m fairly certain it’s not necessary to point out how moronic this comment is, but juuuuusssst in case there’s another reader who’s thinking, “This guy John is sure making some sense,” consider my reply the counter-argument. Prescribing testosterone to a chromosomal female who has decided to transition carries risks – like any treatment – but in no way would I categorize it as “unsafe.”

      1. Is there a test you run to determine if patients are truly transgender or just take their word? Since your concern has been doctors who write Rx for pig thyroid meds when their tests don’t necessarily meet the numbers for hypothyroidism you appear to be a bit quicker with the Rx pad for other hormones for other patients.

        1. Yes, I am absolutely quick with the prescription pad for anyone who has spent years or even decades suffering from crippling dysphoria regarding their gender identity. Please be serious with your future comments; this one makes you look ignorant, at best.

  12. I would like to see you write a bit about Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and how it is related to being Transgender. I look at my history of being born one month premature. My rare blood type and my blue eyes. I look down and see my genitals and pubic hair that appear to have stopped developing at the Tanner 3 stage. Having very little body hair until I reached about the age of 26. I remember sitting naked or in shorts on the exam table as a boy always complaining to the doctor that I was cold. I remember being told my thyroid test was normal. Then having people mimic my Hoarse voice, and then after reading some articles learning I had at least seven symptoms of hypothyroidism. Then finding myself to be Bi-Gender more toward the female side where I commonly am seen in public in a mix of male and female attire. My sexuality being very confused ranging from Asexual to Bisexual but having womanly sexual desires. I have to wonder how this all relates to having Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis? And how it relates to the disruption of hormones in the womb and during puberty.

  13. Nice to see you do show some patients sympathy and understanding rather than dismissing them and advising their issue is just in their heads.

  14. Speaking as a linguist, the singular ‘they’ is no less grammatically correct than other singular pronouns, and is frequently used to talk about a person whose gender is unknown. However, I definitely understand that it feels odd sometimes to refer to a person whose name is known to you as ‘they’. I still feel that way sometimes as it is far less common, but I’m getting used to it and very much appreciate that you’re happy to use people’s pronouns regardless of how stilted it can feel in some cases. It is also extremely refreshing to see someone write so genuinely and display the kind of understanding about trans people as you have in this post and it has really made my day 🙂

    1. Thanks, mmb. Interestingly, since I wrote that post, it has started to feel less stilted – probably because my volume of transgender patients has increased dramatically. Therefore, my brain is thinking along those lines multiple times per day, making it easier.

  15. What the heck, people?!?
    They asked about experiences with trans patients not a linguistics seminar.

    [Note the classic example of the singular they, where I don’t know HD’s gender and don’t care to because it doesn’t matter one jot whether their buttons are on the left or the right.]

    I guess I should post some legitimate trans medical stuff too so I’m not a massive hypocrite. I’m not a doctor. I’m trans (MtF) and I came here because I have blood test to check thyroid function tomorrow to investigate the cause of my profuse sweating and was doing that self research that “orphans” like me are so used to. This was done the request of a dermatology specialist (I was actually referred to them about my scalp but they actually showed an interest in my sweatiness unlike some) rather than my GP because to be perfectly frank my assigned GP and every other at my surgery are generally unconcerned unless you’re literally dying. It took months being prescribed random guess medication before they admitted defeat and sent me to someone who knew what they were doing. They too have the option for a preferred name in their record keeping system but seem unable to use it although I know they have put Ms. Louise in that field because it’s one of the few parts of their computer system that integrates properly with my phone app. At least the generally poor service from them helps me ward off the feeling that they hate me for being a disgusting tranny. Of course they are uninterested in prescribing me hormones or monitoring my hormone level. I’ve been referred to a gender specialist and the current waiting list time is about 3 years. The joys of a socialized health system that has been underfunded by a decade of conservative governments. I have a worrying feeling that the increasingly strident right wing positions they will mean that before I make it to the front of the queue they will have cancelled trans healthcare for being part of a left wing plot to undermine society. It won’t stop of course. Just as the ridiculous wait times aren’t stopping me now. It’s surprisingly easy to buy contraceptive pills here given that even antibiotics are heavily gatekept. Yes I know it’s not advised. Blood clots etc. But I can’t believe if it was that dangerous they would let women have them. Maybe I’m being naive and the medical establishment are as cavalier with women’s health as feminists claim. I’m past the point of caring to be perfectly honest. The pills make me feel better and look better and if something bad happens because they wouldn’t prescribe me the same medicine they’ll give to menopausal women that’s on their conscience.

    Thanks for allowing comments without some tedious registration and login, by the way. Feels good to have a bit of rant and maybe some doctors will see this and have some food for thought about how not to treat their trans patients. God bless you HD. <3

  16. Hello! I love this so much . Being 24 and on hormones I am FTM , I just relate extremely to this.
    I never knew being on hormones can possibly lead to thyroid issues . The men in my family have thyroid issues and now I have a bunch of vitamin Deficiency’s that are messing with me, a malabsorption issue, and I got my thyroid level back ( they only did one test so far) and it was just on the marker so they considered it normal .. that’s low in my opinion right on the marker means it can just slip And be low
    My number is 0.49
    Do you consider that low ? I’m just trying to get better and these doctors don’t take me serious . My pc said it’s your anxiety.. he knows I have a really low b12 deficiency he only just diagnosed me with and started my loading dose injections so to hear anxiety made me feel bad . I was just trying to tell him this could be a cause if it is on the lower side and I had my vitmain D checked it is low as well I need to be on D3 now and magnesium to help it absorb. If my thyroid is the culprit from the testosterone possibly .. do I need fo stop it? I really don’t want to have my menstrual cycle or my guy jeans not fit right because the fat distributes again.. but I also want to be healthy . I go to planned parenthood they don’t know so much honesty it’s kinda like a drive through McDonald’s there not to be rude.

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